Today I Miss You More: Mama Musing

TodayIMissYouMore

Did you know that every morning your Dad rushes to be the first face you see when you wake? It has become one of my most favorite parts of my day. I finish getting dressed while listening to him whisper sweet tidings of morning love into your ear as he gets you out of bed through the baby monitor.

Seeing the smile (and spastic for the boob juice) look on your face every morning always starts my day off in the best way possible.

This morning after putting your outfit and, of course, your coordinating hair bow and moccasins on we went downstairs to get packed for our big days. Mine teaching, your Dad’s at his office, and yours at daycare with the ladies who love you almost as much as we do.

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When I sat you in your activity center to go get dinner in the crock pot, you cried for me. “Mama” with hands outstretched and big wet tears willing to fall from your eyes. You see, this is a new skill of yours darling girl. You only say “Mama” when you are upset, angry, or just overall discontent. That’s okay, though. I love hearing you say it. For some reason this morning though, it broke my heart. Whipping back around to you faster than should be possible for pre-7am and immediately scooping you into my arms was (as always) the best choice. We got dinner ready together,and when I handed you over to your Daddy so I could leave for work you turned right back around for me.

“Somebody’s a Mama’s girl this morning.” declared your Dad.

Our family thrives on routines, huh? Your bedtime routine is safe and predictable every night. We play, eat, bathe, and pray at the same times every night too, don’t we? Our mornings are perfect versions of our routines. But, today…you needed me more.

You needed the extra cuddles while we were wiggling into your shorts today. You needed the extra snuggly embrace while I prepared your dinner for tonight. You needed that extra kiss and hug before I left for the day. You needed to watch me roll down the window and blow you more smooches. You. Needed. Me. More.

Daily we part ways, and daily your Dad and I take turns checking in on you via the cool app at daycare. We always know when you ate, what you were playing, and how long you slept. Today I can’t stop refreshing that app. Why? Because I miss you. I miss you every day, but today I miss you more. I know you thrive and love daycare, and that is such a blessing. But I love and miss you so deeply. I don’t love saying goodbye to you each morning, but today I just really miss you.

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I am wondering if you cried out “Mama” when you didn’t get your next bite of breakfast quickly enough for your fast paced life. Hoping you had wonderful dreams and woke up with that huge smile spread across those chubby cheeks I grew. Praying that your daycare ladies give you all of the cuddles that I wish were coming from me today. Laughing imagining you shaking your butt in the air feigning interest in crawling before rolling to what you want.

I just miss you more.

3:00 is coming so soon, and I can’t wait to hear your older classmates exclaim, “Virginia’s mommy is here! Aww Baby Virginia your mama is here for you cute little girl!” which has rapidly become one of my favorite parts of our weekdays.

We love you big,

Mama

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